How to Confidently Tell Your Family You're in Therapy
Opening up to family about therapy can feel intimidating, especially when you fear judgment or misunderstanding. But deciding to seek therapy is an act of strength, not weakness. Sharing your journey, when done thoughtfully, can foster deeper connections and mutual understanding within your family. This blog explores how to navigate this conversation with confidence, offering practical suggestions for sharing your decision in a way that respects your needs and sets the stage for support.
Start With a Plan
Planning ahead is essential—perhaps even in collaboration with your therapist. You know your family dynamics best, so consider what approach will resonate with them. Jot down key points or questions you anticipate they might ask. When choosing the time and place, ensure the setting is calm and private, giving space for meaningful conversation.
Be intentional about how you frame the discussion. Instead of assigning blame—“I’m in therapy because of how you’ve treated me”—highlight the positive outcomes of therapy. Share that it's part of your personal growth, a step toward mental wellness, or a way to build healthier habits. "Framing therapy as a proactive choice rather than a crisis response shifts the conversation toward growth," notes Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher known for her work on vulnerability and connection.
- How do I want to present therapy to my family—positively, neutrally, or cautiously?
- What are my boundaries if they react negatively?
- How will I handle questions about my progress or specific topics in therapy?
Practice Open Communication
Approach the conversation with clarity and openness, but also balance vulnerability with what feels safe to disclose. It's okay to hold some details back while still sharing the importance of your journey. "You don’t owe anyone a detailed account of your healing," says therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab. Explain that therapy is helping you explore your thoughts and emotions, and express your desire for their support in this new chapter.
Set expectations for how much you’ll share. For example, you could say, “I might not tell you everything about what I discuss in therapy, but I’ll let you know if I learn something important.” Give your family space to ask questions, but also set limits—if their curiosity feels invasive, gently redirect the conversation.
Educate Yourself and Your Family
Therapy is still stigmatized in many communities, which can lead to resistance or misunderstanding. If your family has limited knowledge about therapy, this is an opportunity to help them understand. Educate yourself first to feel confident when discussing it. You might explain that therapy isn’t just for crises but also for personal development, stress management, and relationship improvement.
Providing relatable examples helps demystify therapy. “It’s like having a personal coach for your mind,” or “It’s where I learn better ways to communicate and manage stress.” If appropriate, share an article or video that captures why you find therapy meaningful. Research supports the value of therapy: studies show that people who engage in talk therapy experience long-term mental health improvements (Cuijpers et al., 2016).
Set Boundaries
While seeking support from family is ideal, it’s equally important to establish boundaries that protect your mental health. Not everyone may respond positively to your news, and that's okay. Make it clear that your therapy journey is personal. For example, you might say, “I’m sharing this because I value transparency, but I’ll set limits if the conversation feels unhelpful.”
Boundaries can also include when or how often you discuss therapy with your family. Let them know it’s okay to ask how you’re doing, but also communicate if you need space. If they offer unsolicited advice or become dismissive, it’s helpful to have a script ready: “I appreciate your concern, but I need you to trust that I’m doing what’s right for me.”
- How do I want to handle advice or opinions I didn’t ask for?
- How will I communicate boundaries without creating conflict?
Be Patient and Kind
Your family’s initial response may not align with your hopes, and that’s normal. Some may react with defensiveness or confusion, especially if they feel implicated by your decision. Give them time to process. Approach these moments with patience, and remind yourself that their response reflects where they are in their own emotional journey—not necessarily a reflection of your choice.
If the conversation becomes tense, take a step back. “I think we both need some time to reflect on this. Let’s come back to it later.” This signals that you value the relationship while prioritizing your well-being. Remember that change takes time, and your family’s understanding may evolve as they see the benefits therapy brings to your life.
Pro Tip: Acknowledge small moments of progress. If a family member shows curiosity or empathy, express appreciation. Positive reinforcement encourages continued support.
Encouraging Ongoing Support
If your family remains hesitant, consider offering ways they can support you without overstepping. For example:
- “It would mean a lot if you respected my therapy schedule and didn’t ask for details unless I offer.”
- “If you’re curious, I’d love for us to learn more about mental health together.”
Remember, therapy is your journey. Their acceptance isn’t a requirement for your progress. Therapy is about you learning to care for yourself better—and that includes surrounding yourself with people who respect your boundaries, even if it takes time.
Your Therapy Is For You
Taking the step to seek therapy is an act of self-care, courage, and growth. Sharing this decision with family can feel intimidating, but it can also create opportunities for deeper connection. Be patient with yourself and your family as you navigate these conversations. With clear boundaries, open communication, and a little patience, you can engage your family in ways that foster support and mutual respect.
Remember, therapy is your journey, and you have the right to share as much—or as little—as feels comfortable. If their response is not what you hoped for, remind yourself that their reactions are beyond your control. What matters most is that you’ve taken the step toward wellness and prioritized yourself.
"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity." – Brené Brown
With preparation, open communication, and boundaries, you can confidently share your therapy journey with your family. Therapy is an investment in yourself—and sharing that journey can inspire others to embrace their own growth.
Take the Next Step
If you’re ready to take the next step in your mental health journey, we invite you to explore our website and learn more about how we can support you. At Golden Gate Counseling Services, we believe that everyone deserves a space to be heard, understood, and supported. We’re here to help you navigate life’s challenges with confidence and care. Whether you’re looking for help with a specific issue or simply want to improve your overall well-being, our team is here to guide you every step of the way. Don’t hesitate to reach out and schedule a consultation today—we’re here to help you find the right path forward.
Introducing Golden Gate Counseling Services
At Golden Gate Counseling Services, we are committed to providing compassionate, personalized therapy to individuals, couples, and families in San Francisco and across California. Whether you’re seeking support for life transitions, relationship challenges, or trauma, our experienced therapists are here to help.
We offer a wide range of services, including individual therapy, couples counseling, and specialized support such as perinatal therapy and gender affirming care. Our goal is to create a supportive environment where you can explore your thoughts and feelings, develop new insights, and make meaningful changes in your life.
Our therapists are available for virtual sessions, making it easier than ever to access the care you need. Whether you’re in the heart of San Francisco or elsewhere in California, we are here to support you on your journey to greater well-being.
Explore our website to learn more about our services and how we can help you achieve your goals. We look forward to being a part of your journey to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
We hope that these tips help demystify and ease the process of finding the right therapist for you in San Francisco. If after reading all of that, you’re still feeling stuck or overwhelmed feel free to call us at 415-742-2225 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. We would be happy to hear what is happening for you, what you’re looking for and provide some direction to finding the right therapist for you. Click here to get started.
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Research Reference
- Cuijpers, P., Karyotaki, E., Weitz, E., Andersson, G., Hollon, S. D., van Straten, A., & Ebert, D. D. (2016). The effects of psychotherapies for major depression in adults on remission, recovery and improvement: A meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 202, 511-515.