Signs That Someone in Recovery Might Be Struggling During the Holidays
The holiday season can feel like a whirlwind of joy, warmth, and togetherness. But for those navigating recovery, it can also be a delicate balancing act. What looks like festive fun from the outside may bring emotional challenges to those in recovery. Between gatherings, expectations, and the nostalgia of past holidays—some of which may have been shaped by substance use—this season presents unique stressors. Especially for those early in recovery, the holidays can feel like a minefield to navigate. The good news? With awareness and proactive support, you can be a vital ally for someone in recovery this season.
Let’s explore the signs that someone might be struggling and offer tangible ways to provide support.
Signs Someone is Struggling to Watch For
- Withdrawal or Isolation
You might notice your loved one skipping social events or spending a lot of time alone at gatherings. They may be avoiding environments that trigger cravings or struggling with the emotions that holiday interactions bring. If someone sets a clear boundary around events (e.g., “I won’t be attending this year”), respect their decision—it may be in their recovery’s best interest.
- Irritability or Mood Swings
Holidays can be triggering, especially for someone attending events sober for the first time. If your loved one seems easily agitated or defensive, it could reflect the discomfort they feel being around substances or managing their recovery journey. Their mood shifts might be an attempt to preemptively protect themselves by keeping emotional distance.
- Disruptions to Routine
Missing therapy appointments, skipping support group meetings, or neglecting self-care can signal that someone is struggling. Routine is a cornerstone of recovery, and sudden changes—like unkempt appearance or skipping meals—are worth paying attention to.
- Heightened Stress
Recovery is all about learning to manage emotions without substances. If your loved one expresses feeling overwhelmed without healthy coping mechanisms in place, it can be a red flag for relapse. Look out for talk of stress without corresponding strategies for managing it.
- Nostalgia for Substance Use
Romanticizing past holidays with substance use—or euphoric recall—can be dangerous territory. If someone reminisces about drinking or drug use, this might signal that they’re struggling to imagine enjoying the holidays sober. This is a crucial time to offer new traditions and ideas for sober celebrations.
Specific Challenges Around Thanksgiving and Christmas
- Anxiety About Gatherings
Social events involving alcohol can feel intimidating. Some people in recovery may struggle to express their discomfort directly, instead hinting that they don’t want to attend certain gatherings.
- Financial Stress
Holidays often bring financial strain, which can exacerbate feelings of guilt or shame—especially if someone is confronting financial “wreckage” from their past substance use. Encourage conversations about budgeting and manageable gift-giving options.
- Painful Memories of Past Holidays
If this is someone’s first sober holiday season, they may feel guilt or shame about previous holidays marred by substance use. These unresolved emotions can be triggering, making it essential to acknowledge them without judgment.
How You Can Support Someone in Recovery
- Open the Lines of Communication
Be a safe person for your loved one to talk to. Ask, “How can I support you this holiday season?” instead of assuming what they need. Your willingness to listen without judgment can make all the difference.
- Plan Ahead Together
Collaborate on holiday plans to ensure your loved one feels comfortable. Whether it’s attending a sober event or hosting a dry gathering, planning ahead allows everyone to feel prepared and respected.
- Offer Alternatives to Substance-Centric Traditions
Help create new rituals, such as enjoying a holiday movie marathon, volunteering, or sharing gratitude lists. Finding joy in new traditions can make the holidays feel more inclusive for those in recovery.
- Encourage Participation in Sober Events
Many recovery groups offer marathon meetings during the holidays. Attending together—or simply encouraging your loved one to participate—can provide them with essential community support.
- Respect Boundaries
If your loved one expresses discomfort or sets limits around certain events, respect their boundaries. Be mindful not to overstep by inflicting unsolicited help.
- Model Healthy Self-Care
Demonstrate your own commitment to self-care through rest, exercise, and balanced routines. This can encourage your loved one to prioritize their well-being during the busy holiday season.
The Impact of Your Support
The holidays don’t have to derail someone’s recovery. Your empathy, patience, and proactive support can make this season an opportunity for growth and connection. Remember, the goal isn’t to fix things—it’s to walk alongside your loved one with compassion and understanding.
If holiday stress becomes overwhelming, remind your loved one (and yourself) that seeking professional help is always a good idea. Recovery is an ongoing process, and having a support system, including mental health professionals, can provide stability during challenging times.
Encouraging Professional Support
If you notice someone in recovery struggling during the holidays, gently encourage them to seek professional support. While your care and presence are invaluable, a therapist can offer specialized tools and strategies to navigate recovery challenges. Try starting with, “Have you considered talking to a therapist about how you’re feeling during the holidays?” This approach removes any stigma and positions therapy as a helpful resource rather than a last resort. Offer practical support—like helping them research therapists, discussing sliding scale options, or even attending an initial consultation with them. Remind them that seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and can be an essential part of staying grounded in their recovery. A therapist provides a neutral, non-judgmental space where they can process emotions and develop tailored strategies to thrive through the holiday season and beyond.
You Can Make a Difference
Supporting someone in recovery during the holidays is about being present, not perfect. Whether through a thoughtful conversation, attending a sober event, or simply respecting their boundaries, your actions matter. Recognize the signs, offer alternatives to old habits, and stay connected in meaningful ways. The holidays are an opportunity to build resilience and create new traditions that nurture sobriety and joy.
Together, we can ensure that this season becomes a time of healing, connection, and continued recovery. Your presence and support could be the greatest gift of all.
Take the Next Step
If you’re ready to take the next step in your mental health journey, we invite you to explore our website and learn more about how we can support you. At Golden Gate Counseling Services, we believe that everyone deserves a space to be heard, understood, and supported. We’re here to help you navigate life’s challenges with confidence and care. Whether you’re looking for help with a specific issue or simply want to improve your overall well-being, our team is here to guide you every step of the way. Don’t hesitate to reach out and schedule a consultation today—we’re here to help you find the right path forward.
Introducing Golden Gate Counseling Services
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